- April 5, 2022 Social Justice
By Jenny Beatrice
In 2003, Kim and her husband were blessed with a little girl. Or so they thought. At two years old, Kim's child looked in the bathroom mirror and proclaimed, “I a boy.”
That moment was the beginning of Kim’s journey as a parent of a transgender child. It was a long, hard path that, thankfully, was paved with the support from the right medical professionals and school communities. But as a Catholic, Kim did not find that same support from her church.
Kim’s child was supported through his transition at Cardinal Glennon Children’s Hospital until June 2020 when St. Louis Archbishop Robert Carlson released “Compassion and Challenge: A Reflection on Gender Ideology.” In this document, Carlson states that transgender identity is contrary to church teaching, and therefore Catholic hospitals can not perform the medical care needed for transgender transitions. Kim scrambled to find alternative care for her son, who had grown to trust his physician of nine years.
“It just is not reflective of my personal experience growing up in the Catholic Church,” Kim says. “For a church that is so against abortion and for the love of every child, yet they won’t offer the care [for transgender children] … how do you decide that?”
Parents like Kim were given the opportunity to share their stories and experiences at a synod listening session with representatives of the Archdiocese of St. Louis hosted by the Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet at the province motherhouse. Pope Francis has convened a two-year Synod on Synodality, inviting Catholics to share the responsibility for the Church’s mission and cooperate in the day-to-day life of the church. The pope has called for the church to hear from those who are often excluded in the conversation, such as members of the LGBTQ+ communities.
A number of mothers and grandmothers of transgender children gave their testimonies at the March 26 session, witnessed by members of the Archdiocesan Synod Task Force and other guests. These women’s stories will be shared with St. Louis Archbishop Mitchell Rozanski through the task force’s report. In the next phases of the synod, this feedback will be sent to the U.S. bishops and eventually, to the Vatican.
Sister Nancy Corcoran brought the speakers together through her ministry with transgender, gender expansive and intersex children and their families. “It’s for the people, for the parents, who are confused, angry and grieving, Sister Nancy says. "That’s who I’m really ministering with. All I do listen. It is a ministry of accompaniment.”
These mothers, who were raised Catholic, grieve the loss of not feeling welcome in a place they called home. Being invited to this synod listening session represents that welcome, the hospitality that is a hallmark of the Sisters of St. Joseph.
“I cannot stress how important this conversation is. It is a rare occurrence where I can be both a Catholic and a transgender parent in the same room,” says Lauren, the mother of a transgender girl.
Joyce’s transgender daughter was “consumed by sadness,” struggling with anxiety, depression and suicidal feelings—a crisis for many transgender youth. Joyce says once she followed their daughter’s lead and found help for her, “The light came back on and she began to blossom.”
Joyce says, “When someone you love is transgender, you make every effort to understand and learn … I pray the Catholic church will open their minds and learn.”
Annaliese, the parent of a transgender girl, is a scientist who frequently testifies before the U.S. Senate on trans issues. She says that one thing she learned from that experience is that the legislators often don’t listen, and that is why she chose to come to this synod session.
Annaliese says, “If we can get people to at least listen and understand the truth about what it means to be transgender, what it means to be a transgender family—if even one person would listen and maybe learn something, it would be worth it. … I am hopeful that by listening, people will realize there is nothing to be afraid of.”